Hit Upon by the Undesireable?

Hit upon by the undesirable? Sick of letting creeps off easy just because you don�t want a drink in the face? Looking for a fun and convenient way to break the hearts of pathetic masses? Look no further, kindred spirit, for we have the solution for you: the coastertoast!

Battle-Hardened or Just a Klutz?

October 28th, 2008 - Alabama

Date: Tues, Oct 14, 2008 at 3:46 AM
Subject: I got an email
To: youvebeenserved@coastertoast.com

I suppose this is a pretty good summary of you: you get all the amputee pussy, so you think that you can prance through every situation like a ball, like you’re some GADDAM Prince Charming looking for his one-legged Cinderella.  Why don’t you admit to the world you’re wearing it like a badge to disobey the basic rules of sex and partnerships? Fucking every girl in the area doesn’t make you qualify as a whole man, and those thighs are connected to someone who may or may not pity or sympathize with you because we all share a common disability of the heart. You’re going to realize one day that the real thing that you lost is your humanity, asswad.

Dear Coastertoasters,

Understand that I had to contemplate long and hard over whether or not I would post this one. This is your pretty standard fare when it comes to gushing. It’s a little flambouyant, if anything. But I have my reasons for putting this up:

1) Material has been lacking lately. It’s all two-word insults and confused babbling. Where all my creative-yet-hopeless chumps at, y’all?

2) I don’t really give a shit what part of society the email represents. Give us your disabled, your unfortunately overweight, your drug-addled and dysfunctional masses; you’re all the same to us.

3) “Amputee Pussy” ?!? I could have left out the rest of the email and only posted that. Coastertoasting GOLD, I tell you!

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Posted in Bitches Scorned | 2 Comments »

2 Responses to “Battle-Hardened or Just a Klutz?”

  1. Icky One Leggeds Says:
    November 17th, 2008 at 9:18 am

    [...] like to point out that, if you’ve been keeping up with the ‘toasts, there seems to be a string of the disabled using our fair service to fleece otherwise potential associates. I’d like to toss all of you [...]

  2. You People Weird Me Out Says:
    January 20th, 2009 at 10:27 am

    [...] know why we come up in the search, sure, [...]

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