Hit Upon by the Undesireable?

Hit upon by the undesirable? Sick of letting creeps off easy just because you don�t want a drink in the face? Looking for a fun and convenient way to break the hearts of pathetic masses? Look no further, kindred spirit, for we have the solution for you: the coastertoast!

You asked for it!

January 8th, 2009 - Clarence

One of the most frequent requests we get here at the Coastertoast HQ is to post the initial emails sent to our service – the ones where you guys make yourselves look like total knee biters trying to pick up some goon that just gave you a fake email address.

We, until now, felt that the service was raw enough in it’s responsive state, posting only those emails from you bucketheads that whine about how hurt you are to a robot. This changes today, however.

The discussion went like this: 

Clarence: Fuck ‘em. They keep sending goddamned test emails to the service. Some of them have phone numbers, addresses, blood types, you fucking name it!

Alabama: Listen, baby, you can’t do that. It’s just not right. You’re not being fair.

Clarence: What? It’s THOSE grab-ass pieces of donkey-doo that keep sending “test” and “asdf” to our service along with their ridiculously formatted business signatures! I think that the only…

Alabama: Clarence. Post them all. Just post everything we get.

Clarence: Anything you say, ‘Bama. You really do taste like a peach.

Alabama: You’re so cool.

So – there’s a new category over there to your right. It is called “Pick-Ups” and it will likely contain some shit that will make you laugh milk out of your nose. Even if you aren’t drinking milk. 

Keep your eyes peeled like potatoes.

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We have a team of magical unicorn riding cybernetic soul crushers working 'round the clock for your sick little whims. This is what they do.

They do it for you.

The PWN3D

They get the email and for whatever reason - maybe they're drunk, maybe they're damaged, maybe they're just good, old fashioned, corn pone country stupid - they keep responding.

Are you in here? I hope so.

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