The Healing Wound
In other news…
It seems that the coastertoasting world has been rocked by the recent resurgence of that illusory mystique that one colloquially refers to as “love”. This Valentine’s Day, 2009, was a barren day for Coastertoast.com, seeing the least amount of activity that the site has known since its inception. This could mean one of two things. The first is that the quality of Coastertoast.com has diminished, which *ahem* is simply not the case. You want a way to slough the struggling suitor, and we provide you with the means. The deed is done swiftly and, for most parties involved, painlessly.
The first option is obviously fallow, therefore I must implicate the following horrifying hypothesis:
Instead of dismissing impotent courtiers and deriding the fallacious followers of cupid, you people spent this past Valentine’s Day falling in love! That’s right! You gave them your real email address! To further your humiliation, you included your number too, didn’t you?!? Oh, for shame. Did he or she write? Did that sallow temptress or insufferable seigneur bother to call the digits you so carefully made as legible as possible in your drunken stupor? Of course not. And now all the sardonic satire that could have been is lost and gone forever. Lost in time, like tears…in rain.
Do the smart thing next year. Make it a coastertoasted Valentine’s Day.
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