Hit upon by the undesirable? Sick of letting creeps off easy just because you don�t want a drink in the face? Looking for a fun and convenient way to break the hearts of pathetic masses? Look no further, kindred spirit, for we have the solution for you: the coastertoast!
Yeah, we know you want to know more about us.
We’ve only just launched, though, so give us a few days to get our shit together and get back to you. Trust us, it will be worth it.
– Clarence & Alabama
(Your friendly neighborhood Coastertoasters)
We have a team of magical unicorn riding cybernetic soul crushers working 'round the clock for your sick little whims. This is what they do.
They do it for you.
They get the email and for whatever reason - maybe they're drunk, maybe they're damaged, maybe they're just good, old fashioned, corn pone country stupid - they keep responding.
Are you in here? I hope so.