After almost 200 emails from various colleges around the US, I am getting pretty damn sick of seeing your name. If you didn’t want to get any of those, why didn’t you put down the traditional [name]@fake.com, or just NOT sign up. 

Unless this is your devious revenge to we, the innocent bearers of bad news, instead of to the hunk whom you will never see again, the one that coastertoasted you after you tried to get with him while your boyfriend was at his buddy’s bachelor’s party.

Oh yes, I know all about it. Don’t worry about your future education, Kara Greenberg. You’re about to be schooled.