Coastertoast FAQ
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Do I have to sign up?
Hell no! This service is inherently anonymous, and like the date that your Coastertoasted chump wants you to be, we can be used any way that you see fit. There is no fee, no way to trace your fake address back to you at all, and no user name or account information to worry yourself over. Just get out there and tell them like it is: you are better than everyone else!
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Why me?
If you’ve been Coastertoasted, don’t fret. It only means that the particularly inept branch of your family tree that you embody will never leaf. How can you save face before the accusing eyes of your entire ancestry? Why, by spreading the pain and Coastertoasting someone else, of course!
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Who on Earth would do such a thing?
Why, us of course! Sometimes the world needs a little bit of good old fashioned sadism to counterbalance all the hippie bullshit that has wormed its way into the social conscious. And, conversely, some of us have actually been pseudo-stalked through bars, clubs, and libraries by poor fools made illogical by their own desperation. At times such as these, the service we provide can be called something of a charity. To have a Coatertoast email at the ready is a sanctuary for those of us who are too attractive for our own good. For the psychologically-coddled-physically-impaired, Coastertoast is a much needed dose of Quasimodo-style realism. Everybody wins!
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Whose lame brain idea was this anyway?
The idea of the rejection-proxy is as old as ugly people, and let me tell you: ugly people go way back. We guess you could say that this idea is our idea, yours, mine and everyone else’s, as much as it is any one person’s.
That isn’t to say that there weren’t specific people and ideas that inspired this bit of technology. No, sir/ma’am.
Chiefly we would blame the rejection hotline. You’ve heard of it and listened to it with your friends but did you know that it is still a hugely popular service? Now you do!
Also there was the now defunct PaperNapkin.Net, by this guy. It basically did just what Coastertoast does only it did it… in the past.
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What if I’m caught?
Don’t worry! How many douches out there are as web savvy as you? If they had any sort of grip on reality at all, would they be trying to get into the pants of someone as far out of their league as you are? Didn’t think so.
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What does the rejection email say?
You can check out the current rejection email here. I know you love it.